Saturday, December 31, 2016

2016 Review: Words of Wisdom from my Old Grandpa

“Never trust a man who won’t eat leftovers.”

“A man who’ll eat tonight’s beans but shun tomorrow’s refried beans will more’n likely steal your cattle.”

“Never apply for a dead man’s job till after his wake.”

“A man who wallows in enough malarkey will never realize he needs a bath.”

“A man with a hair-trigger tongue usually ends up shooting himself in the foot.”

“Don’t take yourself too seriously or you’ll end up sad and miserably.”

“Any fool can act like a cowboy, and usually does.”

“A man can spend his whole life trying to bake a perfect pan of cornbread, and it would not be a wasted life.”

“The meaning of life comes to those who take morning walks around the neighborhood just for the hell of it.”

“Never trust a man who puts his faith in a man he doesn’t trust.”

“A bad egg ain’t never gonna turn good. It’s best to just toss it out before it stinks all over you.”

“You can’t win a fight without first having the courage to put on the gloves.”

“You might not be able to change the world, but you can always find some weeds to pull.”

“You can’t change the world just by pulling weeds. Sometimes you gotta mow.”

“If you really want to change the world, start by planting a garden then work your way up.”

“Never count your eggs before you’ve walked a thousand miles bearing gifts in a pair of borrowed flip-flops.”

“Hard work is good for the soul. Yours. Not mine. So get back to work.”

“Any man who tells you hard work is a sacrifice doesn’t know the meaning of either.”

“It’s okay to be scared, but never let that stop you from doing what’s right.”

“A skunk wearing a bow tie will still stink up your house.”

“If folk are always misinterpreting your words, maybe you need to use some better words.”

“If the goats are out because your fence is falling down, don’t blame the goats.”

“I was the only male your grandma wanted to open, so I made damn sure I wasn’t just full of junk.”

“If you’re unhappy and you know it, wash your hands and have some more BBQ.”

“Even the ugliest bird can fly 1,000 miles to kill two birds getting stoned.”

“A city slicker who’s too scared to ride the Hell Bitch has no business giving advice to those who have.”

“It’s not a sign of weakness to seek help after riding the Hell Bitch. The man who implies that it is, is a damn fool.”

“A rich man too scared to ride his own Hell Bitch will always find subtle ways to demean those poor bastards who weren’t.”

“If you wouldn’t say it in front of your grandma, then keep your damn mouth shut.”

“Real men say, ‘I’m sorry’ and mean it. Cowards never do.”

“Boy, if your cookin’ is anything like your poetry, I’d just as soon eat out.”

“Courtesy ain’t a four-letter word.”

“Always tell the truth, even if it won’t set you free.”

“A good day of honest work can cure a heavy heart.”

“It’s better to be long in patience than long in the mouth.”

“Never apologize for being kind.”

“Winning at ANY cost is never worth the price.”

“Try to make sure your actions and words are always speaking at the same volume.”

“Not all winners are winners, just like not all losers are losers.”

“Don’t be afraid to shine light in dark corners. And when you do, be ready to fight like hell.”

No comments:

Post a Comment