Monday, February 8, 2010

And Now, The Almost Live Super Bowl Twitter Fest Recap!

American football
Okay, so I didn't watch the Super Bowl. But, that doesn't mean I didn't have a good time on Super Bowl Sunday! I fixed some hamburgers, washed the dishes, fed the goats, drank a Rootbeer, and then broadcasted a totally made-up version of the Super Bowl on Twitter, calling it my "Almost Live Super Bowl Tweet Fest." My wife thought I was crazy, but she didn't complain too much, seeing that I DID fix dinner and wash dishes.

Anyways, here's what went on during the Tweet Fest. It's a little long, but I've got the space!

In honor of Super Bowl Sunday, I will now have a Super Bowl of French Vanilla Ice Cream with Choc. Syrup, and eat it with my Super Spoon!

I might do a Live Super Bowl Tweeting event, even though I'm not watching it. I'll just make it up. So, when's the game?

Alright! Let's get this game started! I'm all pumped up! Bring on the GOOD commercials!

What a great game so far. Can't believe the reception! Can't see a thing, but that ain't gonna stop me!

Saints have the ball. And they should, being America's team and all, and...Holy Goat Poop! C'mon guys!

Now THAT's what I'm talking about. I have no idea what I'm talking about, but that's it! What a Super Bowl!

More beer please! Make it two. These Saints are making me thirsty! BTW..who are they playing?

Colts. Okay, these big fat guys are the Colts. Thanks for clearing that up!

Ho-hum, ho-hum, we interrupt these commercials for The Super Bowl! Hey, where's my beer?

Holy Cow! Did you see that, 'cause I certainly didn't. What a pass. Or was it a run? Boy, they're playing sneaky tonight, aren't they!

Don't miss a single minute of my Practically Live Super Bowl Tweet Fest! Going on NOW -- sortof!

I'm sorry. But are there any Saints in the house? Please, we need some Saints! Anybody?

Holy Cow! Did you see that half-naked blonde on the Jumbo Tron? Yeah, me neither. What a Super Bowl. Let's keep things moving!

Hey, can they do that? Sheesh! Go figure. I think this calls for a hamburger.

Okay, Saints, it's time to live up to whatever you were meant to live up to. So, get that ball moving and...oh, a commerical? BRB

Alright, I'm back. Had to take a little wee-wee and...Holy Saints! What did I miss this time? I can't see a thing!

Colts vs. The Saints. Mano y Mano. Hooves vs. Bibles. It's like nothing you've ever seen before. Me neither!

Ouch, I bet that hurt! What a hit!

Commercial time, and that means hamburgers. Got to beef up for this Super Bowl thing! I have no idea what I'll see next!

Alright. Back from the grill, and now....HEY, who changed the station? You better put it right...that's better. I am NOT missing Super Bowl!

Last call for Saints. Are there any Saints in the house? C'mon, it's time to Bible up and kick some Colt .... Hey, what was that?

Okay, now that's more like it. I don't know what it's more like, but that's it! Keep the ball moving!

Oh, crap! Hamburgers are burning! Hey, don't touch that dial. Super Bowl Live Tweet Fest -- almost!

Do you get the feeling Twitter is going to be Over-Twitterfied any minute now? Like on 3rd and one at the goalline and...

Holy Mother of Saint Someone or Other -- I've never seen a move like that. I didn't see it this time either, but what the...

I could have spotted the ball better than that, and I'm not even watching. Super Bowl refs...they think they own the place!

Holy Concussion Batman! This is really a hard-hitting Super Bowl!

I'd do some Color Commentary, but I'm Color Blind. Sorry!

Hey, is that even LEGAL? Even I could see that, and I wasn't even watching. C'mon refs, pull your heads out!

Hey, I think I know that cheerleader! What dear? No, I didn't say a thing. I've never seen her before in my life!

Man, I'm glad it's halftime. I don't think I could take anymore of that kind of action!

Okay, got more snacks, got more drinks, got more room on the couch, bring on 3rd Quarter -- Bring on The Saints! Please!

Twitter up. Twitter down. Let's go Super Bowl. Isn't haltime over yet?

Hey, what's going on. I can't see. Can somebody give me a boost?

'Bout time we got this game going again. I don't know WHO that was, but it wasn't WHO it was supposed to be. C'mon Super Bowl.

Okay, you probably missed it, but there was a nekid man down in the other end zone. Cops got him. He was running, but petered out.

Okay, now we're talking. I mean, I am. I don't know what you're doing. C'mon Saints. It's yours to win, lose, place or...

Man, they didn't have cheerleaders that looked like THAT at school. No dear, I wasn't looking, sortof...C'mon Super Bowl Cheerleaders!

Even the little gains can add up to big gains, and big gains can add up to even bigger gains, and then....Wait a minute! C'mon coach!

Third quarter. Who knows what's going to happen next. Certainly not me 'cause I'm not watching! Go Saints! and who are they playing?

You know, you've got to stop stuff like that? Did you ever play in high school?

That chain guy. The one holding the number thing. Doesn't he look familiar? J.J. Abrams, maybe? I don't know. I'll figure it out!

What a kick. What a run. What a mixture of infield razzledazzle. I've never seen the likes -- and probably won't! C'mon boys, keep moving!

What a Super Bowl! It's the Saints. It's the Colts. It is the Saints and Colts, right? It's getting down and dirty! Just the way I like it!

This portion of the Almost Live Super Bowl Tweet Fest is brought to you with limited commercial interruptions!

C'mon, God! Let the Saints kick some butt!

In the end, it's just a game. But right now, at this moment -- it's -- just a game! 4th quarter up! Let's Kick Some Butt!

Shoot -- go to take a leak, come back, and everything's changed. How did THAT happen!

You'd think they'd practice that more so things like that wouldn't happen. I have no idea what I'm talking about, but you know what I mean.

Okay, the guy on the chain can't be J.J. Abrams. Chris Piner, maybe? I don't know. It'll come to me!

Time's getting short, but if they can hold on, and not let the other big fat guys have their way, somebody's going to win!

Let me just say, that was totally amazing, what just happened, a few minutes ago. Oh, c'mon, you know what I'm talking about!

No. It can't be. I just saw my uncle on the Jumbo Tron. What's he doing in Miami. And who's he doing it with, because that was NOT...

That was clipping! CLIPPING bigger than day! Bigger than night! So big I didn't really see it, it was so big! C'mon refs!

Only minutes left. Minutes. Which, if you divide into seconds is a bit longer, but not much!

Oh, sorry, that was NOT clipping! I'm not sure what it was but it wasn't clipping! Maybe I need new glasses. Or TV.

Can it be? YES! I don't know. Maybe! We shall see. Until then...Play Ball!

Okay, for those who are not watching, let me explain what is happening. It's crazy out there. It's a madhouse. It's pandemonium (sp?)

Did you see that? Did you see that? Did you see that? Did you see that? I SAID, Did you see that?.....Wish I had. :-(

Two minute warning coming up and I ain't going to miss a thing! Well, sortof!

And God said, "Don't bother me now -- I'm communing with the Saints!"

Oh, my, Mother of Holy Pigskin, that was some pileup!

And the clock is ticking. And time is running out. And the seconds are flying by. And my wife wants on the computer, NOW!

That was some fancy footwork there. Even though the future is sealed, those skinny guys are NOT giving up. The fat ones look pooped!

Oh, man, did you see that hit. I'm surprised...What? The game's over? Great Game! Congrats! Who won?

Well, I hope you enjoyed my Almost Live Super Bowl Tweet Fest brought to you with limited commercial interruptions. Saints be praised!

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