Tuesday, August 3, 2010

New York passes tough illegal Doug law

EDITOR’S NOTE: This is the third story in a series concerning America’s illegal Doug problem.

Hot Doug's
New York lawmakers on Monday passed a landmark piece of legislation making it illegal for illegal Canadian immigrants named Doug to live and work in New York illegally.

“This is an auspicious day for New York as well as the country,” said a lawmaker who wished to remain anonymous. “We have been living with the illegal Doug trade in our state for far too long, and now we have the teeth to do something about it.”

The federal government, stating that federal immigration law trumps state law, has already filed an appeal with a U.S. Appeals Circuit Judge.

“What, did illegal Dougs think they could cross into our country, take our jobs, marry our women, and not get away with it?” said the lawmaker. “We will round them up, lock them up, and kick their sorry butts right back to Canada. And if they want to return, they can do it legally.”

Opponents to the new law say they plan to march to the state capital in Albany in protest.

“This sets up an ugly precedent in how we treat immigrants, legal or not,” said Doug of northern New York. “You’ll see police officers stopping people just because they look like a Doug, and that’s just not right. What will we do then? Put them in concentration camps like we did the Japanese during World War II? This is crazy, and unconstitutional, and I and others like me plan to fight against it.”

27 July 2010 -- Illegal Doug problem growing along U.S.-Canadian border
30 July 2010 -- New York may pass law concerning illegal Dougs

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