Thursday, June 11, 2015

Walmart, in theory

When we cross the Event Horizon of our friendly neighborhood Walmart, we are simultaneously in all Walmarts throughout the universe. We are not aware of this fact because our perceptions are attuned to only our primary universe, although we can see hints of this phenomena:

  • The beans that used to be on aisle 7 next to the taco shells are now in the automotive section.
  • Rodney, your favorite produce manager, has been replaced by Angela, a skinny reptilian who hisses at little kids.
  • You've gotten all your groceries and haven't met a single person you know.
In theory, we could walk out with our baskets of dog food and chips onto some unknown planet billions of lightyears away from our own, but that's against Walmart policies.

Just imagine all those beings searching for their parked cars.

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