Does the United States really need a president in the form and fashion that we currently employ? Why not turn it into an honorary position? A figurehead who welcomes visitors to the White House, throws out the first baseball, starts the Indianapolis 500, is a rescue animal spokesperson?
Anybody could be a president like that. Willie Nelson. Serena Williams. One of our local school bus drivers. They’d hold the office for a year, live in the White House, fly on Air Force One, represent Truth, Justice and The American Way, and at the end of the year, pass the torch to the next President.
Age wouldn’t matter. Political party wouldn’t matter. Sexual orientation wouldn’t matter. Religion wouldn’t matter. The only things that would matter would be having a winning smile, a firm handshake, and a cheery disposition. You wouldn’t have to be practically perfect in every way, but knowing how to fly fish would get you close.
Shouldn’t a President know how to parallel park a dually and plant a vegetable garden? I’d like to see one in office who can ride a motorcycle and has a Hot Wheels collection. Being a pet owner is pert near a prerequisite. If you can juggle or ride a unicycle, you’d be a shoo-in.
Sure, there’d be no “real” power in the position, but is that such a bad thing? Being the one person who can skirt the checks and balances of a system and push a button to turn the whole world upside down may have its advocates, but is that what our world — as Carl Sagan described it: A little planet circling an insignificant star in the obscure outskirts of an ordinary galaxy which contains 400 billion other stars, a galaxy which is just one of 100 billion galaxies that make up the universe — is that what our world really needs?
I want to see Grandpa from Des Moines sitting by the fireplace, reading the Sunday comics to the nation. I want to see Aunt Edna from El Paso teaching the young how to change the oil in their own cars. I want to see Uncle Harry from Portland discussing the finer points of bird watching. I want to see Cousin Frank from Albuquerque singing along to a Bad Bunny song.
Let the directly-elected people who have dedicated their careers to serving others take care of the country. Let them worry about carrying the nuclear football, passing bills, taxing, spending, engaging in diplomacy to maintain good relationships with our neighbors and allies. A President needs to be free to attend state dinners, ring the opening bell at the New York Stock Exchange, make surprise visits to food pantries just to help out, kiss babies (but not in a creepy way), represent charities that are near and dear to their heart.
I think you’d make a great President. Sure, you’ve got issues and quirks and insecurities you’d rather not admit, but that’s what is so endearing about you. You’re just like the rest of us. You’re not some gazillionaire who doesn’t have a clue what the rest of us go through just to survive.
You know that an oath to the Constitution is worth fighting for. You know your word is your bond. You know how to be kind to others and forgive their mistakes. You respect that we are all fellow travelers, and that none of us are better or worse than anybody else. Yep. You’d make a great President. I’d vote for you. So, how about it?
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