Wednesday, May 4, 2016

Trump Claims To Be More Popular Than Jesus Christ

FPNews -- Indiana primary voters made it quite clear Tuesday that Donald Trump is the man who will "make America great again." What they didn't count on is what he said after his victory speech.

According to sources close to the Trump campaign, while leaving the podium, Trump was overheard telling an advisor, "Looks like I'm more popular than Jesus Christ."

"Say that a little louder and you might get crucified just like him," the advisor responded, according to the source.

"No, really, listen, and this is important," Trump said. "If I can heal the nation, if I can heal the rift in the Republican Party, it just makes since that I can heal the poor, and the sick, and I could probably raise the dead, not like the Zombie kind of dead on television, but the REAL dead, you know, and make them undead.

"Fish and loaves? I've done that. Water into wine? Child's play.

"I've built buildings. Big buildings. Towers. With my bare hands. And a man who can do that can do anything. Yes? Of course. And let me just say this: I've suffered. Really suffered. I had to battle VD while others were out playing war with the Vietcong, but I survived. Really survived, ok? And that means something.

"The only reason Jesus Christ was crucified was because of the Muslims and Mexicans, but we're gonna keep them out of here. Instead of tearing down a temple, we're gonna build a wall. Even Jesus Christ couldn't do that. And he had lousy taste in clothes and women.

"Did you know my name and 'messiah' have the same number of syllables? If that doesn't foretell my future, nothing does."

The Trump campaign has yet to comment on the matter.

Saturday, April 16, 2016

Saturday, April 9, 2016

Monday, April 4, 2016

Haiku for cat owners

In out in out in
out again? What? Now back in?
The Fickle Feline.

Saturday, April 2, 2016

Wednesday, March 30, 2016

The first Air Force One

Columbine II, Eisenhower's Air Force One

Columbine II, President Eisenhower's Air Force One, stopped over in my hometown on it's way to Virginia.

Monday, March 28, 2016

"If you want to become vegetarian

you must shun fried fish, pork and carrion.
But beer is okay,
I drink seven a day,"
said the spritely old octogenarian.

Saturday, March 26, 2016