Have you seen my keys?

This is an absolutely true story:

I mowed the yard the other day. Don't laugh. I hold off for as long as I can, but eventually I DO have to mow the yard.

Anyways, I mowed it with my John Deere riding lawnmower (if I have to mow, I'm mowing in style), and when I was done, I got a cold drink, soaked in the shower, and then took the rest of the day off.

Two days later, while I was outside raking up the dead grass (I give it to the goats 'cause I ain't paying any more money for hay which is actually someone else's dead grass), I saw something shiny and picked it up.

It was the keys to my John Deere!

Don't ask me how in Heaven's name my keys got there, because I have no idea. And I was darn lucky to be raking the grass in just the right spot to see them.

I ran inside, showed everybody the keys that I found -- and I guess I put them down somewhere in the house because I haven't seen them since.

I should have left them in the grass!