Happy Canada Day!

I've written a couple of song parodies in honor of Canada Day, a celebration of the anniversary of Canadian Confederation which occurred 1 July 1867.

(If you know the songs, just sing the melodies in your head while reading the lyrics. If you don't know the songs, then you should.)

I Want To Be A Canadian (paradoy of America from the musical "West Side Story.")

America, the land of plenty

if you can find lucky pennies.

Always the traffic is slowing.

Always the price of eggs is growing

and the money owing.

Politicians smiling

while the poor are crying.

I like the view from Vancouver,

You can suck that up your Hoover.

I want to be a Canadian,

honest and friendly Canadian,

tout le monde aime un Canadien,

please let me be a Canadian.

Lakes that are frozen are so nice.

Fish all you want down below ice.

Put on your skates and slap round puck.

Don't drop your elbows, keep them up.

Summer is nice up in Canada,

for a low price up in Canada,

never think twice up in Canada,

it's paradise up in Canada!

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And my second song is a parody on Neil Diamond's America I like to call -- Canada.

Car,

we're all packed in the car.

We're leaving home,

but not without the dog.

Freeze,

we'll need coats or we'll freeze,

and mittens, too.

Don't forget the skis.

From L.A. to Portland, Maine,

they'd rather be Canadian.

All the kids in Santa Fe,

they'd rather be Canadian.

North, doesn't seem so far away,

let's get there quick and without delay,

I feel a bit woebegone. I hope we get there by dawn.

North, to a new and a shiny place,

we'll shovel snow and then say our grace,

and hope the coffee's still warm.

Please let the coffee be warm.

Everyone in Delaware

they'd rather be Canadian.

Austinites I do declare,

they'd rather be Canadian.

SUVs will take us there,

we'd rather be Canadian.

Climb on board there's room to spare.

We'd rather be Canadian.

We'd rather be Canadian.

We'd rather be Canadian.

We'd rather be Canadian.

We'd rather be Canadian. Today.

My country tis of thee (today)

Ain't what it used to be (today)

It's time to leave (today)

and try poutine (today)

Today

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HAPPY CANADA DAY!