Wednesday, July 21, 2010

A letter to my wife -- Part II

Dear Susan,

Previously, I admitted to you that it's very possible that I have a snoring and sleeping problem. I also submitted to you my solution to said problem, and now I'd like to continue that train of thought with graphic representation of why my idea would suit both of our needs.

This is a photograph of somebody's dear friend (don't know whose, but that's not the point) who we'll forthwith call "Man on the Beach."

Having a whale of a time at the beach

"Man on the Beach" has a slight weight problem. Not only that, but he probably snores and doesn't rest well due to sleep apnea. Seeing that he's out on the beach for all to see, we can assume that his weight problem doesn't bother him. But it more than likely DOES bother his family.

Wanting the best for his wife and kids, "Man on the Beach" bought an iPad.


Along with the iPad, "Man on the Beach" downloaded apps that would help him lose weight, count calories, chart his progress, as well as teach him the basics of Yoga in the hopes of relaxing before bedtime.

"Man on the Beach" worked hard on his problems, and within MONTHS, totally changed his life.

This is what "Man on the Beach" looks like today:

Mr Muscle

Knowing that I should put my family's welfare first in my life, knowing that snoring and sleep apnea causes undue stress in a marriage, knowing full well that you'd rather have "Man on the Beach" AFTER than "Man on the Beach" BEFORE, I hereby acquiesce to your desires and will buy me -- and I really mean US -- an iPad in order to remain healthy, strong and live a long and satisfying life.

I'll do that for you -- turn apps into abs -- because that's the kind of guy I am.

You're welcome!

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