Okay, I will admit that there may be a possibility that AT TIMES I do emit snoring-like sounds that possibly cause you to lose a few moments of sleep each night.
I will admit that if I were in your place, I, too, would take my sharpest fingernail and drive it into the back of my skull until the snoring sounds -- or all indications of life -- stopped.
I will admit that it's more than likely if I DO have a snoring problem, then I might also have a sleeping problem which causes me to gasp for breath many times a night, thus keeping me, and you, from getting a sound sleep.
But, and I'm sorry to say this, there is no way in you-know-where that I'm going to go to a sleep clinic and have people I don't even know WATCH as I sleep, take VIDEO of me sleeping (with the high probability that it'll end up on the Internet), analyse my sleeplessness, then give me a diagnosis that I have a snoring and sleeping problem that can be cured by diet and exercise -- all to the tune of thousands of dollars, some of which is covered by insurance, but the rest not -- which is exactly what I'm admitting to, right now, for free!
I do have an alternate solution.
Instead of spending all that money on something we already know, why not spend $700 for an iPad -- I'd even share it with you at times -- and download a $5 app, a weight-loss, elimate-snoring-in-the-comfort-of-your-own-home app, and save all that money and get a great tech toy that can surf the internet via wifi or 3g?
I hear they have an app for everything.
Sound good to you?