Monday, July 26, 2010

Happiness is just a spoon full of sugar away

As you are sitting there reading this story, I’m at home sipping on a Dr. Pepper made with real sugar, and wondering why the United States isn’t the happiest country on the planet.

From what I hear in the news, researchers at the Gallop World Poll talked to people in 155 countries – trying to assess their well-being – and from that study concluded that Denmark, Finland, Norway, Sweden and the Netherlands are the happiest countries in the world.

And where did the United States rank? I’m not really sure, but it’s somewhere behind Costa Rica, Canada and Panama. That’s right – even Panama beat out God bless America.

I don’t know about you, but living in a country that’s second rate on the happiness scale does NOT please me.

I’m pretty much a happy person. Most of the people I know are pretty happy, too. And if you are a happy person, and most of the people YOU know are happy, then you would think those numbers would eventually grow enough to tip the country-wide happiness scale in our favor, making America one of the happiest places to live.

Isn’t the United States the home of the Whopper, Braum’s Ice Cream, Domino’s Pizza and Weight Watchers? Aren’t we known for American football, baseball and World Federation Wrestling? And holy cow, Disney Land is just around the corner, and if THAT doesn’t make everybody happy, I don’t know what would.

So here's the deal: We have to turn unhappy Americans into happy Americans, thus putting America back on track to becoming Numero Uno on the Snappy Happy Country list. And here's how we're going to do it:

No. 1 – Since happiness is relative, repeat “I am happy, I am happy, I am happy,” 20 times before any relatives come to visit. If they are your in-laws, 100 reps may be in order.

No. 2 – Always wake up on the right side of the bed, unless you sleep on the left, because if you try to crawl over whoever’s sleeping on the right, you’re bound to get an elbow poked in your ear, which only exacerbates the problem.

No. 3 – Think happy thoughts before you fly to Reno for vacation, unless you’re going to New Jersey, then I don’t know what to tell you.

No. 4 – Never equate money with happiness. Money may appear to make you happy, money can buy that MacBook Pro you’ve always wanted, and money can allow you to indulge in every wish your heart desires. But. Hmmm. I’ve forgotten my point.

And last but not least No. 5 – A quote from American Author Dale Carnegie: “Did you ever see an unhappy horse? Did you ever see a bird that had the blues? One reason why birds and horses are not unhappy is because they are not trying to impress other birds and horses.”

With that, I leave you to find your own happiness. As for me, I shall have another real sugar Dr. Pepper. You can never have too much. Happiness, that is.

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