Friday, July 9, 2010

Pee, all that you can pee!

My wife and I were having a conversation yesterday morning about something or other (I wasn't exactly listening at the time, 'cause she goes on and on and on and...). Oh yes, vermouth. She was talking about vermouth, which made me think about coffee (don't ask), and somehow we got onto peeing (again, don't ask), and then she left for work all disgusted because women don't understand that guys can talk about doing the dishes and peeing in the same breath -- which IS kindof disgusting, but since she's not here at the moment, I can talk about peeing if I want to.

As she was heading out the door I yelled out "Pee you later, aligator" and it hit me -- a lot of phrases, song titles, and movie titles could be improved upon (in my opinion) just by inserting the word "pee" in strategic places. Such as:

MOVIE TITLES
Gone With The Pee
Cleopeetra
Rebel Without a Pee
Who's Afraid of Virginia's Pee?
Alice Doesn't Pee Here Anymore
The Man Who Peed Too Much
Night of the Peeing Dead
Serpeeco
The Pee Hunter
Mamma Peeya
Peein' in the Rain
Pee of the Dead

BOOK TITLES
War and Pees
 Peeter Pan
A Midsummer's Night Pee
All's Well That Pees Well
The Importance of Peeing Earnest
The Last Days of Pompee
The Pee and the Pendulum
The Pee of the Ancient Mariner
The Scarlet Pee

PHRASES
To pee, or not to pee!
Pee, all that you can pee!
Pee ya later aligator
My pee!
Peeing speaks louder than words
Don't hold your pee!
He put up a good pee!
Can you pee between the lines?
Let's pee in the new year.
He saw the peeing on the wall.
It vanished into thin pee.
I have a wait-and-pee attitude
Your pee is as good as mine.

BEATLE SONG TITLES
Let it Pee
A Hard Day's Pee
Pee in the U.S.S.R.
I'll Pee Instead
Love Pee Do
Ob-La-Pee, Ob-La-Da
Sgt. Peepers Lonely Hearts Club Band
The Pee on the Hill
While My Guitar Gently Pees

Okay, my thirst for a little bathroom humor is now appeased (appeesed?).

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