The not-so-great Outdoors

WIFE: There's just too much outside, outside. I would enjoy being outside more if it were more like being inside.

ME: So I guess that means we're never moving to Alaska?

WIFE: Were we ever?

ME: Well, it was a dream of mine. One day pack up all our cares and woes, and go to the Great White North in search of nature, solitude and killer snow skiing.

WIFE: But you don't know HOW to ski.

ME: I could learn.

WIFE: And ski right into a tree, leaving me an old widow up there in the wilderness with nothing but the clothes on my back and your mukluks? I don't think so, buster.

ME: Well, at least you wouldn't have to deal with my snoring anymore.

WIFE: Hmmmm. I hear Alaska is beautiful this time of year.

ME: I'll pack the bags.

(Based upon an actual conversation between me and my better half, which did include talk of the outdoors, allergies, and Alaska. Death and snoring were never mentioned, at least not in THAT conversation.)

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