I'd rather spend an eternity in hell,
listening to fell sounds of
nails on chalkboards,
chainsaws,
scratchy records,
screechy school bus brakes,
cats in heat,
scat singing,
soup slurping,
gum smacking,
knuckle cracking,
a fork being scraped across a plate,
a student's excuse for being late,
a baby crying, day or night,
or a grown man screaming with fright --
than watch one minute of Oprah.
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